“In my dream, there was a sparkling blue pond. At the center of the pond was a lush island, as the canoe I was paddling got closer the island started to smell. I got off the boat and on to the beach. The smell was coming from a horrifying pile of bodies. I realized, they were all of my ex-girlfriends.” – polo wearing dude
“Did you have a cooler as a little kid?” – little lady friend
“What do you mean a cooler?” – dude
“You know, a cooler full of the skulls of your neighbors pets and other small animals.” – lady
“That’s sick” – dude
“No, that’s what sociopaths call a hobby.”
mostly true but embellished a bit by your hoarder of secrets.