Or how I get out the door from a jumble of sleepy pieces in one! Why is that interesting? Because they might be strange, they also might be things that you do in the morning or they might be things you want to do in the morning. Either way, here’s how I start my day right!
1. Kick the damned cat off of my face! She has three legs, is full of piss and vinegar and wants to be fed at 6:30am, which is not the time I want to get up at all. Her preferred method of rousing me is biting my forehead just at the crown of my hair. It’s so specific. Does that part of my head taste like tuna?
2. Turn off my white noise machine. I know, it sounds fussy, but how else can I cover up the sound of Dr. Who episodes and porn from my roommate? Use headphones! Bah! Listening to porn or Dr. Who with headphones on makes you look like a real pervert.
3. Make a big ass French press full of coffee. This is fussy. But my coffee is one thing that I do not eff around with.
4. Drink that coffee in the shower! Just like a cold beer after a long run is great in the shower, hot coffee when you are running late to work is the only way to both get clean and caffeinated in one 15 minute span.
5. Think about making my bed. Mom always insisted. Now instead of doing it, I just feel guilty about.
And then I am out the door most days on my bike or chasing after the damned B62 bus that always seems to come just for me to miss it.