Jul
6
the smell of fresh coffee on a cold morning
A partial list of things maybe true and may have occurred between the dates of June 10th and July 6th.
- I sat in a quiet hush, thinking about the softness of what had transpired, despite its brevity, it was ever lasting.
- I wore a green dress.
- We danced like fools to the sound of our own music.
- I walked across 2 bridges
- Almost slept with a married man in a fit of rage and despair
- Kept the candle burning until it was down so low that it cracked the heavy glass of the holder that was containing the molten wax and it dripped down the table legs like bright, hot veins.
- I finished an entire bottle of rose wine at a bar.
- I did not write any correspondence asking for any explicit explanations, the tacitly implied ones seemed to suffice despite my desire for the definitive.
- I picked up a hitchhiker who had just broken it off with his girlfriend of 5 years. He had found her with another man. His hands were bloody from punching a wall that was not the man’s face.
- Thursday night, I broke down in tears in front of my computer from the weight of nothing at all.
- I broke into a dark library after hours only to just smell the books in the absence of other human smells; to listen to the bindings creak without the sound of human voices.
- One day, the sky was foreboding rain; I left my umbrella behind on purpose expressly to get wet in the warm thunder showers.
- I stayed in the steam room until I thought I was going to start hallucinating, but I didn’t and I wish I had. I need a spark of wonder in my eyes.
Apr
12
Go Suck Your Thumb Sunday
Even Easter Sunday gets you no down time, cry babies.
I am continuing on the nostalgia trip that I seem to have been indulging in lately. Today, we revisit a not-so-secret coward character, Clark ‘Mouth’ Devereaux. I hated the Mouth when I saw the Goonies. I hated his posturing, his lack of faith and I hated that he was so self centered. People argue he was blah blah blah hiding behind his macho posturing. I still call bullshit on that.
He rates a 4 out of 5 weeping Van Der Beeks in my book. And the song that goes with it, almost gets a 5!
When originally released had the quote before it,”Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right here. This was my dream, my wish. And it didn’t come true. So I’m taking it back. I’m taking them all back. ”
Click on to cry yourself to sleep tonight.
Apr
11
Punched in the face Saturday
#7 Vincent Gallo. I think this would be completely obvious but here goes. For the record, I love Buffalo 66. (”We span time together.”) Something seemed to happen after that (all that coke?) and it all crashed burned (too bad there were no actual flames. I would have paid money for that). We got a self indulgent record album of really crappy music. Then worse, we got Brown Bunny. When I think “vanity project” it is the first movie that comes to mind. One night, I am going to get in Beatrice Inn and I will fuck this guy up in the bathroom. Kicking him in the shins while reminding him, “Wash your friggin’ hair! Wash it!”
Apr
4
Punched in the face Saturday
#8 Dustin Diamond. This guy goes on Celebreity Fit club berates the other has been contestants to further his own buzz, is completely belligerent, apparently has a sex tape with not one but two women (who I am sure he may have had to pay) and his biggest acting challenge was playing the same annoying character for THIRTEEN years! He was Screech all the way through to Saved by the Bell: The New Class when every one else had wisely abandoned the show. Thankfully he lives on the other coast and I am not likely to meet him on the streets on NYC, but if I ever do, I have a new buddy who can show me some serious Ku Fung moves that would probably maim this guy. And he would need it. Gack.
Mar
28
Punched in the Face Saturday
#9 Terry Richardson
Clocking in at a formidable number 9 on my list, is Terry Richardson. The thing about living in NEw York is that there is at least 75% chance that at some point I will run into him. I blame him for Cobrasnake, Dov Charney’s ads for American Apparel, and I especially loathe the current vodka campaign. I am so disgusted and distracted by the terrible images, I can hardly be bothered to look at the ads for mere seconds before I have to turn away. Thusly, I never get a look at the copy. Surely it says something about date rape on it.
Mar
21
Punched in the Face Saturday
Part one in a series of the top 10 MF-ers on the my list of “If I saw them on the street, I would punch them in the Goddamed Face”
This week’s edition focuses on #10 – Conor Oberst
I don’t think I need to mention the blight on my ears that the “emo” that is Bright Eyes. I think all I need to do is show you this image and ask you, “Doesn’t he just look like he needs it?”
Mar
15
things i do differently now rather than then
i wear brighter colors
i eat and enjoy freely
i worry less
Mar
9
l’art est mort, ne consommez pas son cadavre
things i ate but wish i hadn’t:
a sandwich in Cleveland, Ohio that had the fries and coleslaw in the sandwich.
shrimp linguine at Red Lobster
three quarters of a box of Whitman’s Sampler that time that i was trying to get over a boy
duck’s blood soup
natto
a box of CheeseNips the week that i was really sick
oyster po’boy in Wilmington, NC
that container of yogurt last night
goat cheese wrapped in cherry leaves
an entire pint of americone dream
nachos at the movies with out jalapenos
white fish salad from that deli i know now to avoid
spicy shrimp and noodles that jon brought me in 1999
jelly rings
3 cadbury creme eggs in one sitting when i was 14
black olives from a can
