Jul
8
stats
up 7:10am and wishing i could lounge in the bed 7 and 10 hours longer
personal best 6 miles in 50:45!
drank a little too much rose and made ridiculous suggestions to people to whom have no interest in taking me up on my ridiculous suggestions. it is a wonderful feeling. this is not sarcasm and actually represents growth for me.
conscious decided to use the word inchoate paired with the word desire more frequently, because it just sounds so damned poetic.
98 minutes of feeling of and apart from the city that i call my mistress, clandestine lover and my home. the three sisters turning their backs on me slowly.
Jul
7
stats
up at 7 am with a slightly sore throat
back to the grind at 8:30am and back to this blog…now
ran 5.16 miles
longed for 15 minutes and then, it passed as so many hurried citizens of the city
Jul
6
the smell of fresh coffee on a cold morning
A partial list of things maybe true and may have occurred between the dates of June 10th and July 6th.
- I sat in a quiet hush, thinking about the softness of what had transpired, despite its brevity, it was ever lasting.
- I wore a green dress.
- We danced like fools to the sound of our own music.
- I walked across 2 bridges
- Almost slept with a married man in a fit of rage and despair
- Kept the candle burning until it was down so low that it cracked the heavy glass of the holder that was containing the molten wax and it dripped down the table legs like bright, hot veins.
- I finished an entire bottle of rose wine at a bar.
- I did not write any correspondence asking for any explicit explanations, the tacitly implied ones seemed to suffice despite my desire for the definitive.
- I picked up a hitchhiker who had just broken it off with his girlfriend of 5 years. He had found her with another man. His hands were bloody from punching a wall that was not the man’s face.
- Thursday night, I broke down in tears in front of my computer from the weight of nothing at all.
- I broke into a dark library after hours only to just smell the books in the absence of other human smells; to listen to the bindings creak without the sound of human voices.
- One day, the sky was foreboding rain; I left my umbrella behind on purpose expressly to get wet in the warm thunder showers.
- I stayed in the steam room until I thought I was going to start hallucinating, but I didn’t and I wish I had. I need a spark of wonder in my eyes.
Jun
10
a brief hiatus
i am taking my own good advice and leaving one thing behind for now. I will not be posting the daily stats here for the rest of the month. Last weeks depressing crying jag in front of the computer after an extremely long week of 4 days in a row of 15 hour days, I realized that something had to give.
I will be back with arbitrary data and not very insightful lookings into things after July 2nd.
You can find me if you care on Twitter as houseofshss.
I will miss my curated secrets but by then I will have surely accumulated more.
Jun
10
keep it secret, keep it safe
click for a larger version
tracking a few things and random weighs and means; they come out in a graph. maybe it doesn’t explain anything, maybe it does. maybe it means i am foolish, girlish or bored. i stopped and started waiting at the same time.
Jun
4
slight tilt to the right is all that is needed to make you look better in pictures
maybe i need to work on that.
*does not include cuddles received from my cat
Jun
4
stats
up 7:30am
45 minutes on the climbing machine while reading a book about the time value of money.
45 minutes spent pondering pending resolves, still ruminating on the underbellies of things as they do not seem congruent.
drank 1 possible two obans and a thimble of jeffersons to dull the pain from a long work day and an equally long night of classes
