Monthly Archives: February 2012

on sobriety


I have made a decision. To be honest, it was a rather hard one for me. I love booze. You can tell from the history of this much neglected outlet of my brain. It’s true. It’s my one vice nowadays. We’ve had a long and storied relationship. We’ve gotten in and out of trouble with each. We’ve taken breaks before, but this time, this time, lover, it’s got to be a little longer. I have decided to go sober and celibate for 2 months. Basically, until I head to Austin for a friend’s wedding.

I made this decision after a few, ahem, mishaps. Basically, I put my vagina in some compromising positions. I woke up some places I didn’t really want to be. Nothing I felt bad about, I’m not into slut shaming or anything, but I would kind of like a real relationship. Also, when you are drunk enough not to remember, but have the presence of mind to send send yourself an email with the subject line “Stop being so slutty”, you should really listen to yourself. Getting completely swizzled and going home with people that, on a good day, I like but on a drunk one, I, shrug, guess love. This kind of behavior precludes developing a connection with anyone, let alone the guy next to me in the morning. I think that I would like one of those, a connection. Like one where I have some one to go do the stupid things I like doing with, like dress up as Spy vs. Spy and ingeniously faux murder each other all night. Or at least some one who will laugh at me while I do said stupid things, like sing “Holding out for Hero” by Bonnie Tyler in complete earnestness.

So to, whit, I started my sobriety streak Monday February 6th. It’s been a week. I’m doing alright so far. I miss it a little. The soft social lubrication it provides, but then again I don’t miss the over sharing, losing my shoes or picking puke out of my hair on a bad night.